I’m going to look at life a different way. I’m going to be sober; I’m gonna live a sober life. I am 17 years old, unemployed, a dropout, (used to be homeless) now staying with my mom, an addict who loses the game more times than I can count on fingers or feet. I let it get to me, even when I reminded myself that it wasn’t just for fun anymore. All the times I wasn’t myself, that all I saw was my slim body, all I saw was myself losing weight and having a definite jaw line. I didn’t see the dark circles under my eyes, the malnourished look my body had, I looked worn, I looked sick, I was a thief. I stole from my loved ones, ones I had just met, all the helping hands were hands I took for granted, and I burned all my bridges. When I get out of detention I’m gonna try and restart. No, I am gonna restart. I’m going to get a job, go to school, respect my mom, respect all the helping hands, I’m going to have a life, I’m going to get back on my feet. I’m going to find who I used to be, because I lost myself.
You never used to think things would get this hard
Know u kind of feel like you’re living on planet mars
U don’t know what’s going on around and really could care less
The main thing in front of u is drugs at request
U wanna get back to reality but you’ve fallen so far
U need help and that’s the last thing you wanna ask for
You’d rather get caught up and look like a fool
Thinking in the side lines I’m really, really cool
I told myself I’d never be like my mom
But look where you are at?
Looking every day for something to keep me going
I told myself if I got to that point I’d always make myself stop
But I can’t do that, it’s not that easy, I really wish it was.
See, let me show you something It’s more than u think
You’ll think I’m lying but really this is reality
This is drugs and my family what it’s done all around
And really truly drugs never make you sound
They want u to think u are ok
That you’ve got it all under wraps
When really you are killing your family, yourself
But u don’t even know that
U want something to give u pleasure
So look to the drugs when really
Your friends and family should be enough
If I told u you’ll lose your house, lose yourself
Have no money left in your bank account
That your kids will be taken away
That your family will disown u
That everyone wants to stop trying cause
U keep pushing them away
Your family is scared to have u at the house on holidays
Maybe scared you’re gonna steal something in the middle of the day?
What if I told u your looks will deteriorate?
That you’ll look more like Marilyn Monroe on her death bed?
So let’s be serious
Do you really wanna live this life
If u really have a choice?
Absolutely not, that’s why we thought
That we can do it on our own
But please, really, come on
We’ve shown we’re not that strong
So ask for the help u need
Don’t be scared to be humble
You need to tell the truth to get anywhere in life’s fumbles
You don’t believe u can do it but guess what? You can
You’re strong you are worth it and more than that
U have a reason
Life is amazing when u look at it in seasons
When u look at each day
And love who you’ve become for a reason
Take each day slow
Remember to pat yourself on the back
I wanna see you’re beautiful blue eyes
Clear and bright
Instead of the hazy ones 2 months back, see,
I love u, you’re worth it and you’re here for a reason
Give yourself the chance to find out the meaning J…..