When I Get Out of this Place

I’m going to look at life a different way. I’m going to be sober; I’m gonna live a sober life. I am 17 years old, unemployed, a dropout, (used to be homeless) now staying with my mom, an addict who loses the game more times than I can count on fingers or feet. I let it get to me, even when I reminded myself that it wasn’t just for fun anymore. All the times I wasn’t myself, that all I saw was my slim body, all I saw was myself losing weight and having a definite jaw line. I didn’t see the dark circles under my eyes, the malnourished look my body had, I looked worn, I looked sick, I was a thief. I stole from my loved ones, ones I had just met, all the helping hands were hands I took for granted, and I burned all my bridges. When I get out of detention I’m gonna try and restart. No, I am gonna restart. I’m going to get a job, go to school, respect my mom, respect all the helping hands, I’m going to have a life, I’m going to get back on my feet. I’m going to find who I used to be, because I lost myself.

-K.C.

 

Rap

You never used to think things would get this hard

Know u kind of feel like you’re living on planet mars

U don’t know what’s going on around and really could care less

The main thing in front of u is drugs at request

U wanna get back to reality but you’ve fallen so far

U need help and that’s the last thing you wanna ask for

You’d rather get caught up and look like a fool

Thinking in the side lines I’m really, really cool

I told myself I’d never be like my mom

But look where you are at?

Looking every day for something to keep me going

I told myself if I got to that point I’d always make myself stop

But I can’t do that, it’s not that easy, I really wish it was.

See, let me show you something It’s more than u think

You’ll think I’m lying but really this is reality

This is drugs and my family what it’s done all around

And really truly drugs never make you sound

They want u to think u are ok

That you’ve got it all under wraps

When really you are killing your family, yourself

But u don’t even know that

U want something to give u pleasure

So look to the drugs when really

Your friends and family should be enough

If I told u you’ll lose your house, lose yourself

Have no money left in your bank account

That your kids will be taken away

That your family will disown u

That everyone wants to stop trying cause

U keep pushing them away

Your family is scared to have u at the house on holidays

Maybe scared you’re gonna steal something in the middle of the day?

What if I told u your looks will deteriorate?

That you’ll look more like Marilyn Monroe on her death bed?

So let’s be serious

Do you really wanna live this life

If u really have a choice?

Absolutely not, that’s why we thought

That we can do it on our own

But please, really, come on

We’ve shown we’re not that strong

So ask for the help u need

Don’t be scared to be humble

You need to tell the truth to get anywhere in life’s fumbles

You don’t believe u can do it but guess what?  You can

You’re strong you are worth it and more than that

U have a reason

Life is amazing when u look at it in seasons

When u look at each day

And love who you’ve become for a reason

Take each day slow

Remember to pat yourself on the back

I wanna see you’re beautiful blue eyes

Clear and bright

Instead of the hazy ones 2 months back, see,

I love u, you’re worth it and you’re here for a reason

Give yourself the chance to find out the meaning J…..

-K.C.