He Never Said It was Going to be Easy

Well that’s for damn sure.  I thought my life was gonna be easy until that one day my whole life turned around. Just over a year ago, I started coming up here. Thinking I’d never have a life like this sitting in a cell because some kid couldn’t just play it safe for a year and get off probation. Now a year has passed and I’m looking at a max of 2 ½ years of wasting my life locked up, leaving my family and going away.  I know it ain’t that long but still things can and will change, and the stupidest part about it all is my brother and my girlfriend are standing there right next to me facing the same bull crap, maybe even more. I wish I could just take their pain away and let them live their lives without these charges. But the game won’t let you put in those little “life cheats” to make it easy.

I sit in my cell everyday thinking about every little thing I’ve ever done in my 17 years of life, and I flip out because it don’t feel real anymore, especially the times I’ve been strung out on drugs thinking it would make my life easier, or make me feel happy, or make that moment that I use easier. But when I come back to reality and I’m sober for once, everything just starts to flood in and makes me just want to say “fml” or “ftw” and leave this world. But then I think that’s not the way to go. I have responsibilities in life; I have to look out for my brother and be there for my girl. So if life can’t be easy might as well make it be fun, without these charges. I guess that’s what he means when he says, “It wasn’t gonna be easy.”        -J.V.